The next few days might actually see a fair amount of action on this blog. A few things to say, and this is the place where I say them.
I have recently learned a lesson as a father. As smart and capable as I think my Princess is, I need to follow her timeframe for development.
Here’s the thing: I read a recent article about toddler and teeth, and that by 3 they could start going to the dentist and getting fluoride treatments. The Princess has been brushing her teeth, or having them brushed, since age 2. She’s not great at it, but she’s getting better. However, we use toddler toothpaste, which is safe to swallow. Adult toothpaste most certainly is not–well, not safe in large quantities. For her to get her fluoride treatment, she’d have to spit.
She doesn’t spit when she brushes her teeth now, and I tried to give her a crash course in spitting, fearing we were already well behind the developmental curve.
The Princess has usually been early in her development, from walking to talking to co-ordination, she’s always been ahead of schedule. Not so much with potty training. However, once we got her using the potty, she was quick to understand and has had almost no accidents (and none when she’s awake).
There’s certainly an aspect of father’s pride in this, but I am equally proud of my 11 month-old Smiley McDroolsalot, and she is developmentally late. Smiley crawled late, she’s not walking, she’s not using any words (possibly dada, but that seems more like a repetitive vocalization than a word). I’m still super proud of her (she can literally melt walls with her smile! . . . okay, maybe not literally).
I guess I have too high of expectations for the Princess. She cracked under the pressure. I gave her a couple of long talks about swallowing toothpaste–as in, don’t! It didn’t help. Finally, one night, mommy and I changed night-time duties (I put Smiley to bed and mommy put the Princess to bed, usually it’s the other way around) and mommy relieved her of the pressure of spitting.
Last night, I was getting the Princess ready for bed again. I made it clear when she brought up the fact mommy didn’t make her spit that not spitting was okay. Someday, she would have to learn how to spit when brushing her teeth, but that would wait.
After potty time, we got to teeth brushing, and she wanted mommy to do it, or to pass on it altogether. No, we were going to brush her teeth so she would be all ready for mommy to tuck her in.
And the Princess started bawling!
I calmed her down and promised her that she didn’t need to spit. She made me repeat it many times, as though making absolutely certain I understood that spitting was no longer required. After a bit of talking and hugging, we brushed her teeth. Daddy still spits, and I explained the difference between toddler toothpaste and adult toothpaste.
So I think I was pushing my Princess a little bit too hard. It’s tough, because I want her to succeed in everything, even things as little as tooth brushing. Funny, though, that I asked mommy to haul back on the pressure when trying to get the Princess started on potty training, worrying it might be too much. Then I forget my own advice.
This is a learning experience. It’s obvious why life as a second child is easier than the first. We parents get our on the job training with the first. Poor Princess. I think she has recovered, and I think mommy still wants me to put Smiley to bed (Smiley is pretty needy . . . maybe I’ll write about that some other time), but I want to continue to be the one who gets my Princess ready for bed. I adore the time I have with her, and I really need to learn how to be a good daddy for her (and her sister).
They should have classes on this stuff!
